4, 16, 13 and a little bit more

I am back after so long of not blogging and this is going to be an incrediblyyyyy long post because so many things have been on my mind for the longest of time haha if you don’t want to read it that’s perfectly fine~

4: It’s been 4 months since you left us Grace, and things have not been easy at all on all of us here, but we are coping because we are lending strength from you and from God of course, and because of that things have been looking up, but of course with all the lapses because we are human and because we are not you so we cannot be strong 24/7 as much as we are trying to be.

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16: You turned 16 a few days ago and I wished with all my heart that you were around for us to celebrate this special day with. We met your parents for dinner at relish and dessert at island creamery to commemorate you and to recognize that your parents are going through the same journey as us (actually probably a worse journey than us). It was heart warming and spirit lifting to see that your parents could talk about you (and us) with happy smiles, as if they had taken your whole life as a very happy memory that they look upon in happiness. Your whole family really inspires me with the strength they possess and the way that they cope with difficult things, I’m so in awe haha.

13: It’s been good, very good although time to time I question things and do not understand why you do the things you do, but learning and trying to accept things. Things like last night still don’t settle well with me though, perhaps it is my fault haha I don’t know I need to delve into this a bit more.

Bible study season for the past 6 weeks (is it 6 I cannot remember) and somehow felt like it was good for the first part and degrading now I’m sorry cgls it is not your fault rly haha. Throughout bible study we have been breaking down words that we throw around loosely. What is faith. What is the gospel. What is righteousness how do you attain righteousness in Christ what are the implications of attaining righteousness if there are. What is freedom what is freedom in Christ can you ever really be free from things how do you attain freedom in Christ. Stuff like that have constantly been on my mind but I don’t ask questions because I don’t know who to ask I guess it was always Joash who is not here anymore 😦 and I guess I don’t ask during cg because I don’t think I will find a v satisfactory answer there hahaha I’m so sorry guys I’m not judging ya’ll I’m just saying that most of us aren’t experts or anywhere close to that of the Word so~

Been very worried for many people over the past few weeks because they have given me every reason to worry about. If you do read this you should know I’m talking about you and I’m always here for you please don’t doubt that okay but really even if I can’t help you with it sometimes it’s better to let everything out and when you decide you rly need to do that remember that I’m always here for you

I thought I’d have a lot of things to write in this post but many of them I have already said out to people and many of them I have deemed not significant enough (I guess) to mention so I will just stop here no point in trying to force out more than I have. Bye~~

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